The Photogenic Ass 
Monday, June 8, 2009 at 7:20PM
blue in Everyday Observations

It irks me to no end to see women who have posed for the camera with their asses as the main subject:  Ass frontward looking coyly over one shoulder... back arched.  [I suspect that these chicks think that having a man tell them not to turn around ('cuz that pretty round thing looks good to me) is a compliment.]  It's not that I begrude the attempt to look sexy-I never have such a strong reaction to pursed lips or scrunched breasts.  There's just something particularly loathsome about the ass shot.  Help me work through this, y'all...

A friend suggested that it's my bouginess that has given rise to my disdain.  She believes that the ass shot, unlike other sex-kitten poses, does not transcend class:  It is associated with chicks who aspire to nothing greater than video vixen status. Hmmm.... No.  that's not it.  But then she said something that gave me pause:  Perhaps I have issues with other chicks who possess the same trait as I... maybe I'm territorial about ass.  My friend gave the example of a good long-haired acquaintance who takes issue with weave-  she takes it as a personal affront.   Perhaps my contempt has more to do with my refusal to capitilze on my own ginormous ass--and I begrudge those who chose to do so... 

Indeed, my ass has always preceded me.  As an adolescent I felt that Sir Mix-a-Lot had written an Ode for Me.  In college, Bootylicious was my anthem (though even back them I refused to dance to Beyonce in public).  In all likelihood I inspired Mos to proclaim that "she had ass so big that [he] could see it from the front..."  But, even so, I never felt comfortable putting my balls booty on the table, so to speak.  Doing so just seemed so.... trashy/tacky/flagrantly braggadocious.  Nevertheless, I saw (and still see), the benefit that girls who broadcast their ass receive:  Longing looks, the club speed pass and free drinks... (even if Nelly had been talking about them).  Damn those unprincipled broads!


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